On Friday, I pulled up to the bright yellow bus that was waiting in the parking lot. My girls jittery with nervous excitement for bible camp. Anticipating their days to be full of summer time enthusiasm they were heading out for a 5 night stay in cabins filled with friends.
One of them being how quickly my girls are growing up. Sometimes, I'd rather not think about it. Be left in the dark, not knowing when the last time for something will occur, because lasts tell us that time is moving and changing.
Lasts tell us that the world isn't stopping for us to appreciate each moment but that we consciously need to take note. Highlight. Regard.
Lasts often take place without us even realizing it. For instance, I can't recall the last time my daughters pudgy limbs slid into a baby swing at the park. I don't remember the last day they stopped using a sippy cup or I stopped feeding them with my hands. I don't really think about the day I won't be able to pick up my eight-year old and cradle her to her bedroom for the night, because I know it has already happened with my ten-year old.
I mourn the missing out. When was it? On which day did I last carry her?
Lasts will simply pass us by and we recall it after the fact, when the moment is gone.
I wasn't going to let it happen on this day. I was ready to dog-ear this page in our story.
Except... this was a first.
I was releasing both of them.
As they climbed up the rubber steps and took their seats, I waved at their smiling faces and my eyes started to water. I tried to hide it from them as I watched them bounce their bottoms on the seats, raring to go. As the bus pulled out I stood present, soaking it in.
My last summer of having at least one of them at home had past me by.
Time keeps moving.
But this first, I will remember.
It is often the first times we take notice of, and I wanted to press this one hard into my heart as a keepsake. So that the times I miss will not be outnumbered by the times I hold dear.
Have you experienced some recent changes? Firsts? Lasts?
smiles. my day is coming with my boys, they are right on the cusp of going away to a camp...i feel you on this...time moves quick when you have kids for sure. celebrate those firsts and lasts.
ReplyDeleteI just have little ones, but they both are growing so fast. My toddler is a sponge, and I feel like every day I say, "When did you learn that?" about something he does. Have you read the children's book, "Let Me Hold You Longer" - it has a similar theme.
ReplyDeleteLove it! Made me cry! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteOh Manda, this old mom who hops back and forth between empty nest and full nest has had more than her share of firsts and lasts this year. I think the things that I miss the most are the small things, too.
ReplyDeleteThis was a sweet post.
Nice post!
ReplyDeleteHaving a fourth child so much later than the others has given me a second chance to "cherish" all those little baby moments without the added exhaustion of having other toddlers around. However, I look at my kids..almost on a daily basis and wish I could freeze time. Hope your kids have a wonderful week.
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p.s. for some reason I can't comment from my google account anymore. Weird.
My life is full of so many first and lasts, I feel like my heart is reeling, my mind numb. I have a 21 month old and an 8 month old...and they grow faster everyday. It's so hard to watch them slip away into independence right before my mama heart, but I know it's necessary. So hard....
ReplyDeleteThanks for this reminder Manda, much love friend!
Oh Manda, as you already know, VBS was it for me! And Dennis and I were talking last night about how our plan is for next year, for Jennah to go to camp for the week, and Jessica can go to 'little squirts' camp for 2 nights. I can't believe we are already at this stage of life. But we love it! God Bless!
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