On Friday, I pulled up to the bright yellow bus that was waiting in the parking lot. My girls jittery with nervous excitement for bible camp. Anticipating their days to be full of summer time enthusiasm they were heading out for a 5 night stay in cabins filled with friends.
There are certain things that bring me to tears.
One of them being how quickly my girls are growing up. Sometimes, I'd rather not think about it. Be left in the dark, not knowing when the last time for something will occur, because lasts tell us that time is moving and changing.
Lasts tell us that the world isn't stopping for us to appreciate each moment but that we consciously need to take note. Highlight. Regard.
Lasts often take place without us even realizing it. For instance, I can't recall the last time my daughters pudgy limbs slid into a baby swing at the park. I don't remember the last day they stopped using a sippy cup or I stopped feeding them with my hands. I don't really think about the day I won't be able to pick up my eight-year old and cradle her to her bedroom for the night, because I know it has already happened with my ten-year old.
I mourn the missing out. When was it? On which day did I last carry her?
Lasts will simply pass us by and we recall it after the fact, when the moment is gone.
I wasn't going to let it happen on this day. I was ready to dog-ear this page in our story.
Except... this was a first.
I was releasing both of them.
As they climbed up the rubber steps and took their seats, I waved at their smiling faces and my eyes started to water. I tried to hide it from them as I watched them bounce their bottoms on the seats, raring to go. As the bus pulled out I stood present, soaking it in.
My last summer of having at least one of them at home had past me by.
Time keeps moving.
But this first, I will remember.
It is often the first times we take notice of, and I wanted to press this one hard into my heart as a keepsake. So that the times I miss will not be outnumbered by the times I hold dear.
Have you experienced some recent changes? Firsts? Lasts?